Around a year ago, I went to bed one night, four years previous to my spiritual
Awakening and four months previous to my mothers death
I went to bed, feeling restless and tired, depressed, broke, ugly and completely down
I never felt so grossed out with my body and character
I got back from work one night and went to bed, I fell asleep with quite ease because of the
Restlessness
But when I woke up............I didn't wake up, Marc did not wake up, no one was there
I was lying on my bed with my eyes closed and my body felt like a glass bottle that was Equally filled from top to bottom with what I can only describe as a boundless love
It was a love like nothing else, it wasn't a human love, a personal love and to call it love
Is a joke really but calling it a boundless love is the only description I have of it right now
I went from never being so uncomfortable in my life to never being so comfortable
I sat up and laughed for hour's, what a joke, it was always this
This boundless love, whatever you wanna call it, destroyed everything
It destroyed my past and future, all ideas and beliefs, all separation, meaning and purpose
It destroyed everything, including my family, it stripped away every single drop, they was no Self, no family, no world or universe, no people, nothing individual, only this, just this
It was clear and obvious
That night was the night Marc died
A few months later I went to the field\park where I'd normally go with my mum, we'd get a Coffee just a cross the road from the park and then take a stroll around the park with our Coffees, so several months after my mother's death, I went to the park alone and held out
My Palm and I let the wind take away my mother's locket that was given to me the day she Died and I said to my mother, it wasn't just you who died mum
